A new hearth and a new plot of land. The present year has
found me once again nesting softly into a new living space. This time, it feels
more grounding. I have help. My partner and I have come to find ourselves
sharing a home together.
My sacred space has once again recreated itself. The
homogenous philosophy of sacred space
is something that I’ve always had a knack for believing in. My immediate space
is the same space that I have always dwelt in, yet often in different rooms, in
different towns, with different individuals, etc.
I have lived in different places and called other bedrooms
my bedroom. I have painted the walls green to calm my nerves, and I have played
tirelessly with the arrangements of furniture. Yet most of those dwellings
exist within another time. The only one relevant is the one in which I find
myself presently. My sacred immediate space.
It is the place of comfort.
I have often noticed the sedating affect my space has had on
others. When people seem tense during social gatherings, I place them in my
bedroom, where they are free from the chaos of awkwardness. I suppose, in a
way, this is an unconscious display of my own vulnerability so that they do not
feel uncomfortable displaying their own. My nurturing nature running amok.
My quiet, green room has always been my safe space. I’ve
never been under the impression that others don’t go through what I do,
everyone should have a place in which they feel completely sheltered from the world.
A place unfettered by the arguments of politics or the chastisement of social
expectations.
My partner is the only one who ever truly gets to experience
this sort of intimacy with me. This quiet time of the soul. His humor abounds,
and he’ll make fun of me for using vocabulary, but I love him for it.
Learning to truly love and let oneself be loved is a
process, especially for any kind of developmental challenges resulting from
social dysfunctions during the early years of one’ life. A friend once told me
that we are all unevenly developed, so you’ve got to make do.
During this learning and growing into the future, we should
always remember who we are and where we came from. My quiet, green room reminds
me of myself. My hopes, my dreams, my struggles, my successes. It gives me life
and a place from which to dream.
In my closet, now big enough for actual storage, I have set
up both apothecary and altar. My temple of medicine and magic. When my
belongings are sorted, my mind is clear and my purpose is succinct.
I am hopeful for the coming spring.
Talk later.
